How the Mighty Fail: Lessons in Leadership (Part 4)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

How the Mighty Fail: Lessons in Leadership (Part 4)

“Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.”
- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

This is Part 4 of "How the Mighty Fail", based on "Driving Straight on Crooked Lines" I'd like to suggest you read the first three parts and then this installement. One builds upon the other.

Narcissism:

Narcissism is closely linked to charisma and the personalized use of power. It is correlated with destructive leadership. Narcissists share some of the following traits:

1. Dominance

2. Grandiosity

3. Arrogance

4. Entitlement

5. Selfish pursuit of pleasure.

My CEO was dogged for years by allegations that he sexually molested young men entrusted to his care, had affairs with women and was a drug addict. He was a world traveler, much of his travel apparently more related to his own pleasure than the pursuit of his organizational goals. He evaded sanction thanks in large part to the privileged status granted him by the late Pope John Paul II, orchestrated by influential supporters in the Vatican. Think of the Pope as the “Chairman of the Board” for the sake of this business-case. Only in 2006 did John Paul's successor, Benedict XVI, discipline my former by boss – who by then was 85 years old.

During my time with him, he rarely showed vulnerability, and I don’t think he fully recognized the shortcomings of his personality, and therefore didn’t deal well with his dark side. He showed signs of an exaggerated sense of self-worth, he was quite convinced of his uniqueness, and he sought the admiration from those around him. Every request he made had to be taken care of immediately. Dealing with such a self-absorbed individual was tiring and emotionally draining. The narcissist doesn’t really care about you, so you have to put your personal needs on hold.

I suspected my boss’s excessive self-belief might have led him close to some psychopathic form of narcissism, where he couldn’t live without constant admiration. A leader, who has derailed, believing in his own ‘infallibility’ can lead his followers over a cliff, even when they’ve received warnings from others. My boss never tolerated challenges to his leadership. He acted as if he were irreplaceable. The individuals whom he groomed to be directors and managers weren’t usually the most personable or talented individuals. He picked them based on their piety and unquestioning acceptance of his authority. He surrounded himself with people who thought he was unparalleled.

Robert Hogan and his associates mention other contributing factors to destructive leadership. These include parental discord, low socioeconomic status, paternal criminality, maternal psychiatric disorder, and child abuse - common themes for exploitive adults.

Childhood hardships, in the makeup of the destructive leader can also lead to an “ideology of hate.” This may be the case of those whose self-hatred is turned outwards.

2 comments:

Lauretta said...: Jack, I think your comments are very valid. The last part of your article was extremely insightful and true, I believe. Parents, in particular, and the environment in general, have a profound effect on children, especially the ones who tend to be more sensitive in the first place. I don't think that is taken into account enough when dealing with these wounded people who end up doing such destructive things to themselves and others.

One of the things that I have struggled with is what to do when you see one of those toxic situations going on? When is intervention appropriate and when is it none of your business? Children are so precious and you just don't want to see them hurt but how does one intervene and bring about positive change?

That is one of the things that has me puzzled concerning the Legion fiasco as well. When does one just go in with both guns, so to speak, and forcefully remove these kids from this toxic environment? It is very difficult when the parents don't see it; January 17, 2011 at 11:37 AM
The Monk said...: Lauretta, Thanks for you comment. I'm not quite sure I have the answer for your question. Maybe recognizing the existence of the toxic situation (rationally) is a good place to start. Good men in the LC may not have come to understand the full dimensions of the "toxic triangle" that came together for Maciel. I'm hoping that they eventually come to recognize the human, manageable aspects of the problem they face. With "functional" leadership, informed "followers," and a new "environment" things can change. I tend to hope that a more analytical approach to the problem without exaggerated emotional overtones will help parents analyze the organizations to which they (we!) entrust our children.

You "can bring a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink." Every parent has to make their own personal decision about their own children. That said, I just held a workshop with a group of psychologists in Mexico City. I found it interesting that the consensus seemed to be that the alumni of LC schools (in Mexico) have a strong foundation in values, compassion, social responsibility, and sense of self. Indeed, some suggest that, in general, these alumni compare very favorably, if not better, than their "clients" from other well known Catholic and non-denominational schools (in Mexico.) The psychologists in question are not affiliated with LC schools. I have little first-hand knowledge about US based schools; January 31, 2011 at 8:39 PM

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The story that inspired "Driving Straight on Crooked Lines"

“A long time ago, a Monk set out on his travels accompanied by his assistant, a Brother. Night was falling when the Monk told the Brother to go on ahead to find lodging. The Brother searched the deserted landscape until he found a humble shack, in the middle of nowhere. A poor family lived in the hovel. The mother, father and children were dressed in rags. The Brother asked if he and the Monk could spend the night in their dwelling. “You are most welcome to spend the night,” said the father of the family. They prepared a simple meal consisting of fresh milk, cheese and cream for the Brother and the Monk. The Brother felt moved by their poverty and even more by their simple generosity.

When they finished eating, the Monk asked them how they managed to survive in such a poor place, so far away from the nearest neighbors and town. The wife looked to her husband to answer. In a resigned tone of voice he told them how they managed to survive. ‘We have one cow. We sell her milk to our neighbors who do not live too far away. We hold back enough for our needs and to make some cheese and cream-that is what we eat.”

The next morning, the Brother and the Monk said their good-byes and set out to continue their journey. After the Monk and the Brother had walked a few miles, the Monk turned to the Brother and said, “Go back and push the cow off the cliff!” “Father,” the Brother replied, “they live off the cow. Without her, they will have nothing.” The Monk repeated his order “go back and kill the cow.”

With a heavy heart, the Brother returned to the hovel. He worried about the future of the family because he knew they depended on the cow to survive. His vow of obedience bound him to follow the orders of the wise Monk. He pushed the cow off the cliff.

Years later, the young Brother became a Monk. One day he found himself on the same road where he found lodging so many years ago. Driven by a sense of remorse he decided to visit the family. He rounded the curve in the road and to his surprise, he saw a splendid mansion, surrounded by landscaped gardens, in the place where the hovel used to be. The new house exuded a sense of prosperity and happiness. The Monk knocked on the door.

A well-dressed man answered. The Monk asked, “what ever became of the family who used to live here? Did they sell the property to you?” The man looked surprised and said he and his family had always lived on the property. The Monk told him how he had stayed in a hovel on the same spot, with his master the old Monk. ‘What happened to the family that lived here?” he asked.

The man invited the Monk to stay with him as his guest. While they ate, the host explained how the family’s fortune changed. “You know Father, we used to have a cow. She kept us alive. We didn't own anything else. One day she fell down the cliff and died. To survive, we had to start doing other things, develop skills we did not even know we had. We were forced to come up with new ways of doing things. It was the best thing that ever happened to us! We are now much better off than before.”

This is a blog of the memoirs of an Irishman - from Dublin - who is a former member of the Legion of Christ.

"Driving Straight on Crooked Lines: How an Irishman found his heart and nearly lost his mind" is available on Amazon.com and other outlets.

I look back at the events in the Legion that made me who I am today. It's a fun read with a serious message: positive change can come from adversity.

When I first heard the story of the Monk and the cow, my job - a job I truly loved - was eliminated at the multinational corporation which employed me. My cow was taken away from me, through no fault of my own. The person who told me the story was suggesting I could find new peace, happiness and financial well-being in my adversity, just as the family did when the Monk stole the cow.

A few years later, revelations about the double life of Fr. Marcial Maciel the Founder of the Legionaries of Christ, killed another cow in my life and in the lives of tens of thousands of people.

There is a Spanish saying: "God writes straight on crooked lines". "My Legionary Life" is about trying to not get lost in the crooked lines of our own - or others - making. It is about discovering the straight lines that reveal the true purpose for which we exist.

It is the the story of the first Irish Legionary of Christ to set foot in Mexico. It begins in Dublin, Ireland, passes through Spain, then Mexico, Italy, the U.S.A and Gabon, in Central West Africa.

When I am not writing, I make a living as an international managment consultant.

The Monk who Stole the Cow

Thursday, January 13, 2011